Surprise! More confusion, more clarity, transformation, and smut! Also lately a kind of letting go of some concerns for "decorum".
A while back I wrote a tweet where I
declared my impatience/frustration with my near universal desire to fit
in to others' perceived expectations of me, to be loved and accepted
etc.
Phrases like "be yourself" and "it
doesn't matter what others think" and "if they don't like you fuck
'em!" are kind of cliché. I hear them a lot, and everyone agrees
they're a good idea, but they're seldom really applied and lived by. We
admire the few people that live by them IF we happen also to approve of
their choices and accomplishments.
I have made
choices here to conduct/share myself in a certain way. I write certain
stuff here, certain things on twitter, other things about myself on
facebook, some things in private journals, some things I only would say
to a close friend and still other things to no one at all.
Again
I'm faced with the daunting task of consolidating all my different
avenues of expression. I'm tired of separating it all yet still afraid
of breaking down those boundaries.
Lately I've
been spending a lot of time at the beach with some great friends, and
for whatever reason, having spent that time mostly naked and with
others either into pup play or furry, I seem to have busted through a
few of my blocks/fears around being judged for how I look naked. It's
about time!
I finally did a pup night tonight
in just a hood, mitts & jock and it felt great. (I might have even
lost the jock for a bit). I'm kind of amazed at how far it all went
tonight, but pleased as well. Also happy that I feel comfortable enough
to share it here. Time to let go of bullshit illusions like "mystique"
or fears of being labeled a "slut". Coincidentally I did label someone
that tonight with my trusty Sharpie. A back makes a great canvas!
Hopefully I'll be inspired to write here more often. I've gotten some great feedback and I really appreciate it!
More to come! More to cum!
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