I feel like "a fisher of men". I've cast the net wide and have met many amazing guys. Some I've seen face to face, some, I plan to meet one day, and some I might never meet.
In this intersection of paths, wills, and explorations I've been learning a lot about myself. Seeing who I become around different people, revealing to myself some of my quirks and habits, and ways of behaving around people I've just gotten to know, or have been trying to impress.
I feel as if different people bring out different aspects of my personality and ways of being. My intention and actions always come from a genuine place, and a desire to be as open and honest as possible.
The situation of dating and exploring with different guys is one that I reflect on a lot, and also one that I don't share too often, especially not publicly, as I feel shy/awkward about putting some of these situations/ inner workings of my mind out there, for fear of others' raised eyebrows or judgements.
I'm not into the idea of giving people certain play by plays as I respect the privacy of the gentlemen involved. Rather, its my own general thoughts on the situation(s) I find myself in that I'm more interested in sharing.
Perhaps even that feels weird, as I choose to do this publicly, and there's a real possibility that some involved in my life will get some insight into my inner workings that perhaps I'm not comfortable inviting them into. But at the same time I want to lessen opportunities for manipulation whenever possible, and hide next to nothing. Is that a worthwhile goal, that kind of vulnerability? I think so, though not always sure about wanting it or my reasons for pursuing it.
More to write here, perhaps the addition of some hopeful spin or exclamation, but this'll be it for now :)
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